


We are family

by Firerose17



Category: DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Sleep Deprivation, Sleep Disorder, friendship bonding, self blaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26215126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firerose17/pseuds/Firerose17
Summary: Hiccups war against Viggo causes him to have  problems with his sleep and  his friends want to help him.
Relationships: Astrid & Fishlegs & Hiccup & Ruffnut & Tuffnut
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	We are family

Hiccup couldnt sleep. He had turned in his bed for hours and tried to calm his mind down, but it did not work.He knew that he needed to sleep but there were just to many thoughts racing through his mind.He blamed that on the events of the recent day which had really lowered his self esteem, and his confidence of winning the war against Viggo.The hunter always seemed to have the uperhand no matter how much Hiccup tried to outsmart him, and it was a wonder that none of his friends had been hurt in the many traps that the had flown into.Yesterday when Viggos plan had finaly revealed itself and Mala had threatened to kill him and his friends, because she believed they had betrayed her and her tribe, Hiccup had thought that now it would happen..He had been so confident that he finaly outsmarted Viggo but in reality he had just done what Viggo wanted him to do and put his friends in danger in the process.His guilt and self doubt were easy to ignore during the day were it was easy to distract himself with Toothless or the other riders but now that they were all sleeping and Hiccup lay awake in the darkness those feelings slowly came crawling into his mind and prevented him from getting any rest. 

He tried to distract himself by thinking about something positive like Berk and his father who he missed alot but as he thought about him he was reminded of Berks gold that he had lost to Viggo.Another loss to the hunter which the people of Berk now had to pay for. It seemed like no matter what Hiccup did he always endangered the people he loved.He groaned in frustration and tried to push those thoughts away. He needed to sleep.What if the hunters atacked the edge and his friends would be forced to fight without him because he was too tired ? Hiccup closed his eyes and slowly finaly fel asleep.

He saw the edge being burned to the ground by an armada of ships. He saw his best friends screaming their war crys as they tried to defend their home only to be shot down by arrows their screams of fury turning into screams of pain. He wanted to help them but it was like he had been frozen. A part of knew that this was just a nightmare, and that all he needed to do was wake up but somehow he couldnt. His heart was racing as he looked at the huts that were now piles of ashes.He wanted to cry. He wanted to kill the hunters for what they had done to his friends but he still could not move. Then hand was laid on his shoulder and a voice whispered softly. "Dont cry my dear Hiccup this is your fault."

Hiccup shot awake screaming and with tears in his eyes.He looked around franitquily a part of him still being in his nightmare. A snout gently nudging his side slowly made him realize that he just had a nightmare and that he was safe. He took a deep breath and turned his body to the right side of his bed to see Toothless looking at him with big worried eyes.Hiccups scream seemed to have woken him.

Hiccup lay a hand on toothless head and forced a smile."Hey bud sorry I woke you up."He knew that his apology was unnecessary but he felt guilty for disturbing his dragon like this. Toothless gave a growl that sounded like a mixture of annoyance and amusemend. Hiccup once again felt greatful for his dragon and began to pat the nightfurys head.He had no idea how long he had slept but after his dream he did not feel the urge to fall asleep again.Instead he decieded to go flying for the rest of the night.Someone had to patrol the island and maybe the fresh air would help him to clear his head."Come om bud lets go for a night flight." He said and tried to sound cheerful but he could not hide how shaken up he was by his dream.He stood up and leaned on Toothless for a moment so could find a balance that he often lacked since he had a prostectic.

When they stepped outside together Hiccup started to feel a little bit better.The fresh air and the peacful quietnes almost made him forget the terrying images of his dream,but when he sat on Toothless saddle his hands were still shaiking and when he started to fly over the huts of his riders he began to see them burn again.

When the sun was begining to rise on the horizon Hiccup was still flying.His eyes were heavy from tiredness but he was also relieved that the night was over.He had flown mindlessly across the occean and over the edge feeling terrible because of his dream and a mixture of dread and guilt that had formed a knot in his stomach.But the sunlight announcing the day gave him hope that soon his friends would wake up and they would distract him.

"Are you alright Hiccup?" Fishlegs asked Hiccup concerned when Hiccup sat down for breakfast.he had been the last one to arrive because he had forgotten time when he was working on one toothless older tailfins."Yea Im fine just a bit tired you know from yesterdy." he responded with a reassuring smile that did not seem to convince Fishlegs.Hiccup was thankful for his friends concern but he did not want to worry him and the others when there was already so much to worry about."You werent up all night were you?" Astrid who sat next to him asked and her expression showed a mixture of worry and anger. Hiccup wondered if it would be a good idea to lie to her.Astrid knew him very well and unfortunately that meant that she also knew about his habit to keep his problems from his friends.He knew how much she hated it when he kept his problems from her and her anger was something to be afraid of "No of course not! Im just tired from yesterday thats all." Astrid raised her eyebrows and she seemed just as unconvinced as Fishlegs.Hiccup felt silly for not wanting to admit that he hadnt slept.It wasnt like his friends would judge him for it plus they could probably guess from the way he looked that he had stayed up all night. But if he told them about his sleeping problems he would also have to tell them about his dream and he definitely did not want to be reminded of that right now.

So he quickly shoved a few pieces of his yak steak into his mouth so that he would not have talk anymore."Come on Astrid! Hiccp doesnt sleep. Im not even sure he knows what that word means." Snotlout joked and Hiccup had to admit that his cousin had a point. He had really not slept that much since the war with Viggo started another thing that he started to regret."I know what that word means Snotlout. Its just hard to sleep when there someone out there who is way smarter than you and who gets what he wants even when he looses." He joked but unfortunately some of his frustration could be heard in his voice.Snotlout looked a bit uncomfortable and looked away from him.Hiccup hated it but he suddenly felt all of the negative thoughts and feelings boiling up inside him as if they threatened to break out of him.He took a deep breath and decided that it was time to change the subject."I think we should take a break from the fight with the hunters. They will need time to regroup anyway." Luckily his friends did not comment his outburst and agreed, the twins and Snotlout more enthussiastecly then Fishlegs Astrid and Heather,and Hiccup hoped that no one figured out the real reason he wanted to take a break:His fear that if they attacked the hunters his nightmare would become true.

Taking a break was a more difficult challenge than Hiccup had thought. They spend the day swimming and laying at the edge lagun but even tho Hiccup normally loved to swim he somehow could not enjoy it this time.He had a weird feeling of paranoia which caused him to expect a hunter atack at every moment.He knew that this feeling was just caused by his lack of sleep but he still flinched a every roar of a wild dragon that he heard.He eventually decided to stay on the beach with Astrid and Heather while Fishlegs was swimming close to the beaches beginning and Snotlout and the twins had started a big waterfight. He loved to hear them laugh and was glad that his bad mood was not affecting them but he was also jelous of how happy they were.

When evening came the riders were all gathered at the beach lying with their heads on their dragons and looking at the beautiful sunset which seemed to turn the water into fire."We should do this more often." Snotlout yawned while using his dragons body as a pillow."yea I would love to splash water in your face more often Snotlout." Ruff joked and Tuff laughed amused."Two against one is not fair its not my fault fishface did not want to help me!" Snotlout said clearly offended which could have to do with hours of being constanly atacked with water from two sides. "Sorry Snotlout but you know how much I hate waterfights.Its way to chaotic for me."Fishlegs apologized softly which was followed by a frustrated groan from Snotlout.

Hiccup only listening halfly to his friends banther. His eyes were stuck on the orange gold water which reminded him so much of flames.. the flames from his dream.He saw them slowly burning on the sand and then going on to the forest.He saw them burning everything in their path and it was almost like he heard a cold laughter in the calm wind."Hiccup are you alright?" Astrids concerned voice and her gripp around his hand brought him back into reality.He was starring at harmless waves and there was no sound of laughter in the wind just the far away sounds of wild dragons.Hiccup felt pathetic and weak.He was a viking, the future chief of berk and yet he sat here having daydreams becuase he was scared."Yeah I jus realize that maybe I havent slept as much as I should have." He admited and it was the truth even if it was not the full reason for his condition.

"You do not just look tired, You look like you just saw a ghost." Heather said carefully and there was something in her voice that Hiccup regognized as understanding as if she knew what he had seen.There was silence now. Hiccup was the center of attention and he hated it.His friends had been so happy but of course he had to ruin it."I... I had a nightmare last night and I just thought about it."Hiccup almost whispered looking at Astrid who looked very concerned."Was it about Viggo?" Astrid asked carefully and Hiccup felt his heart drop.He did not want to talk about his dream especially not when he had just seen it again."No I dont remember what it was about but it was definitely not Viggo."Just the mentioning the name made Hiccups stomach turn and he suddenly felt the urge to run away.The riders looked at him in concern and Hiccup felt more uncomfortable with every minute."Do you have nightmares of him because you blame yourself for not outsmarting him?" Tuff asked after a while but he did not look Hiccup in the eyes.Being called out like this made Hiccup flinch.Sometimes he forgot how smart Tuff was.He wanted to laugh and say that that was nonsense but he couldnt because he knew it was the truth.

He had sleeping problems since the war with Viggo began. They had caused him to have nightmares but they always let him get him a few hours of sleep well until last night.Hiccup realized that his friends were waiting for him to say something and he really wanted to but something in him made him afraid of it. It was silly but he somehow thought that if he told them they would worry even more about him and he did not want them to worry.The war with Viggo was his mistake and they had already suffered enough because of hm. Instead he let go of Astrids hand and stood up.He needed to get out of here to a place were he could pretend that everything was fine."I just cant sleep that long its nothing to worry about and speaking of it Im really tired Im going to bed.Goodnight."

The other riders stood up with him and he hated their sad expressions."No Hiccup. You cant always run away from your problems.We are a team we have to help each other and we will help you with your sleeping problems if..." Hiccup interrupted Astrids stern command and free himself from her gripp around his shoulder."No you cant help me. All of this is my fault!This stupid war that I cant end and bringing you all into this.You should all just go back to Berk and act as if I dont exist that would be the best for you." Hiccup did not wait for his friends reactions. He grapped his clothes which lay on the ground and sat on Toothless saddle.His dragon was clearly upset but he still followed Hiccups orders.They quickly flew away from the beach and away from Hiccups friends.

HIccup knew that he had hurt them.His heart ached with guilt and regret but what he had said was the truth.They would be better of if they left him.They all had found something to do during the three years of peace and he ripped them out of it.Back then he had been excited for an adventures with his best friends but now he wished he had forbidden them to come with him.How often had he put his friends in danger? How often did he have to hear that he was to predicable to get it? This question made him think about Dagur who had died because of this exact reason. Hiccups heart ached at the thought of the beserker and he felt his eyes getting watery.He opened the door of his hut and walked inside.

Toothels nudged him again and Hiccup absently strocked the night furys back to let him know that he appreciated his comfort.Toothless looked at him with sad eyes and Hiccup knew the he wanted him to go back to his friends.He wanted him to apologize and let them help him but Hiccup was to ashamed.He had basically told them to leave the edge and he woud not blame them if they did.He put his clotches on and let himself fall on his bed.Tears fell down his cheeks and then he started to sobb. He had wanted to have a great time with his best friends but ended up hurting and maybe loosing them.The only good thing was that his lack of sleep made him very tired. Hiccup closed his eyes looking forward to fall into a deep sleep which would help him to forget his pain. 

His thoughts were against him again.He thought about his friends even tho he did not want to. He thought about how they were flying back to Berk talking about him and how weak and rude he was.He told himself that his friends would never do that but that did not stop those thoughts.He wanted to sleep and hated his mind for not shuting up.why did he have to be so problematic? New tears fell when frustration and guilt tored him appart.

He did not know how long he cried until the sound of his door being opened distracted him from his thoughts."Hiccup?" Astrids soft voice confused him even more. What was she doing here? Why hadnt she left? Mabe this was just a dream or a trick of his mind.When multiple feet seemed to walk up the stairs that led to his bed Hiccup slowly sat up and turned his head towards the door and the stairs.He was very confused and was even more when he saw that it was not just Astrid who was walking up the stairs.

All of the riders were with her."Guys what are you doing..."Hiccup lost himself in the middle of his sentence.To say that he was overwelmed by his friends arrival was an understatement.He had rejected them so harshly and yet they still cared about him."We are ignoring what you told us like always."Ruff joked and HIccup felt a strange mixture of amusement and shame rising in him.The riders were now gathered around his bed and Hiccup had to admit that he liked them being here."I..Uh.. I never wanted you leave...I..Im sorry I made it seem that way...I just did not want you guys to worry about me." The words sounded weak in his ears but his friends nodded in understanding."We Know Hiccup its alright.But you should have known that no matter what you do we were going to be worried.Im actually constantly worried about you Hiccup. this war against the hunters is clearly not good for your mental health." Fishlegs said softly and Hiccup saw on the face of the others that they were thinking the same.Hiccup felt stupid.He had spent this whole time trying to hide his feeling from the people that knew them the best.He felt greatfulness warming his heart.His friends were really trying to help him because they loved and cared about him.They wanted to know his problems and Hiccup somehow felt the desire to talk abut them.

"You are right Fishlegs its not.I think I havent slept well since it started. I always have nightmares about hunter atacks or Viggo threathening us.I actually hoped that I would sleep better after we retook the edge from him but last night was somehow worse then the others.", He paused not sure how to countinue Astrid gently nudged his shoulder and asked with a reasurring expression."Why? what did you dream about?"Hiccup took a deep breath and then countinued carefuly.

"I saw the edge being burned down and.... I ...I saw you die..I trid to save you but all I could do was watch and then I heard Viggos voice...he said that your deaths are my fault and he was right.I keep putting you in danger because Im too predictable.I keep falling for Viggos traps and you and Berk have to suffer for it. If I could I would end this war but I dont know how and Im scared that it will end like my dream. Im scared of loosing you."There was a long silence after Hiccups rambling but he still felt better.He had finaly said what had tormented him for weeks and it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders.The looks of empathy and compassion of his friends faces were also helping alot.Astrid carfuly sat beside him and Hiccup moved a bit so she could have more space.

"Your are not the reason Berk has to suffer and you are defenetly not the one that forces us to risk our lives everyday.Remember when Viggo got the dragoneye? We werent bothering him after that but he still decieded to almost kill me with the scourge of odin.He is just as obssessed with beating you than you are Hiccup. He is just way more ruthless than you but thats not your fault. You are just trying to protect and save dragons which is in your nature and we care about you alot so we are and will always fight by your side no matter how much worse Viggos next plan is."

Hiccup had never heard Astrids voice being so soft but it really were her words that soothed him.Her words reminded him of why he was here. Why he was fighting against the hunters despite the fact that their leader was so much smarter than him.Hiccup was fighting for the dragons and his riders.He wanted to save dragons so that they could life a peacful life just like the berkain dragons did.His friends undertood and shared his desire and so they followed him even if it sometimes ended with flying into a trap.Hiccup felt a warm feeling of thankfulnes washing away all the guilt and pain that he had felt.Deep in the back of his mind he knew that the guilt would return but atleast he had finaly realized that he could always count on his friends to support him.

"Thanks Astrid. thank all of you I dont know how I deserve you. I promise that I wont let anything happen to any of you." Hiccup knew that it was unessassary to tell his friends that but he just wanted to say it maybe to push the vision he had seen in his dream further away.

"We already know that Hiccup but Im afraid that if we are under atack again and I see you being in mortal danger you cant stop me from dying for you." Hiccup felt shocked about Ruffs statement and e started to feel worried when he saw how determend her expression was.He did not want anyone of them to die especially not for him.Astrid shot her a short glare and the others looked at him worriedly maybe they expected him to get upset again.Ruff rolled her eyes in annoyance."Come on guys dont tell me you wouldnt do the die for him.""Of course we would but you dont have to tell him that sis." Tuff told her in a whisper that anyone could hear."I dont want you to die I thought I made that clear."Hiccup said desperately and his friends looked at each other in discomfort."Yes you did but you would do the same for us so we have to return the favor."Snotlout replied and his tone pretty much implied that no matter what Hiccup said next it would not change Snotlouts mind.Hiccup sighed in defeat he could lie now but he never wanted to lie to his friends again.

"Yes you have a point Snotlout I would die for you and if you told me not to I wouldnt listen to you either so I guess arguing with you is pointless and I jus have to accept it right?" Hiccup asked and already knew the answer."Exactly!" Ruff said cheerfully and Tuff nodded entusiastecly.Fishlegs did not nodd but the look in his eyes said enough.Heather who stood next to him smiled softly and her expression was moved as if she just now realized the strong bond her fellow riders had with each other."Alright thats enough.Its late and telling each other that we are going to die is not gonna help us sleep."Astrids words sounded harsh but Hiccup knew that she just triede to hide how uncomfortable this conversation made her.Astrid was always strict towards her friends sometimes even to him but she clearly loved them and hearing them talk about that any of them could die made her scared.He shortly squeezed her hand as a way of comfort and she smiled at him greafuly."Okay sorry mom but Im not really tired." Tuff joked and Astrid stood up and punched him not hard in his arm."Hiccp needs to sleep and if you call me mom again Tuff I will punch you even harder."

Hiccup smiled amused and reliefed that his friends were banthering again.But then he realized tat they were about to leave and he suddenly was overcome by panic.He did not want to be alone again.To be fair he had toothless but he wanted is dragon who was already sleeping to sleep further.He hated the thought of being alonein the darkness with only his thoughts that he feared would prevent him from sleeping again."Wait! please dont go" He felt silly for begging his friends like this but he wanted them to stay here even tho there wasnt much space."Can... you sleep here?" He asked shortly feeling very embarressed.He was a nineteen year old he should not need people to sleep in the same room with him so he could sleep."Of course Hiccup!" Fishlegs answered and imediately started to search for a place to lay down.

The others followed his example smiling at him softly and Hiccup again felt a deep love for them rising in his stomach."I cant believe Im doing so much for you Hiccup but I love sleepovers so I have to stay."Snotlout said with a mocking smile and Hiccup grinned back.The riders lay down around his bed Astrid to his left Fishlegs to his right.Snotlout lay on the far side of the room while Heather lay close to the stairs and next to the twins.Hiccup suddenly felt bad because his friends had to sleep on the floor instead of their beds."Guys if you are too uncomfortable with laying on the floor..." "Shut up and sleep Hiccup we are staying here if you like it or not."Snotlout said annoyed and Hiccup felt both relieved and moved.He did not deserve such friends. They were ready to do anything to make him happy even sleep on a hard wooden floor.He had always felt close to them but in this moment he felt like they were more than friends..they were a family.He wanted to tell them his realization but he knew that they needed to sleep so instead he said softly."Aright goodnight and ..thank you for everything." Six goodnights could be heard and when Hiccupp closed his eyes he could already hear snorring. The sound was a comforting reminder that his friends were there and a remindere that they would always be with him.They were the dragonriders. They were a team and the belonged together. With this beautiful thought Hiccup drifted into a deep dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if their are any grammar mistakes english is not my mother language.
> 
> Let me know what you think ?


End file.
